he Grimoire of Minor Inconveniences

Being a true and faithful record of the small apocalypses of daily life. Turn the leaves gently; they have suffered enough.

Illuminated page titled A Rite of Sacred Hospitality from Which There Is No Early Release (Being the Visitation of the Lares of Another House) within an ornate blue, gold, red, and green floral border. Verses warn that the words You should come stay with us are heard as a deed of title, and that guests who want no trouble will rearrange the larder, offer advice, and keep the hearth lit long after the household has tried to sleep. The host must ask how the roads are looking rather than when the visitors are leaving. A great illuminated A encloses folded linens, luggage, and a cooking pot; a smiling hooded host stirs another pot while holding towels, a goat wears a blue-and-gold cloth, and a green dragon sits beside a suitcase and barred door.

Illuminated page titled A Spell for the Thread That Will Not End (Being the Group Chat from Which There Is No Mute) within an ornate blue, gold, and floral border. Five instructions describe being added to a chat of people who know one another better than they know thee, offering a voice note and meal photo, answering replies with clarifications, chanting I have to run while remaining, and awaiting unread banners and branching conversations. A great illuminated S encloses speech bubbles and a glowing phone; a weary hooded figure studies another phone while a goat bleats beneath more bubbles and a green dragon sits below three red Unread banners.

Chapter: Sacred Hospitality, leaf 1 of 1A Rite of Sacred Hospitality from Which There Is No Early Release — of the invitation that becomes a deed of title, after which the visiting Lares rearrange the larder and determine when hospitality is complete. Chapter: The Thread That Will Not End, leaf 1 of 1A Spell for the Thread That Will Not End — of the group chat that cannot be unjoined from within, where every reply requires clarification and the conversation only continues.

The leaves, plainly listed

Thy vessel runs no scripts, which is honestly the most sensible decision recorded in this entire volume. Every leaf may be consulted directly, oldest to newest; the parenthetical names identify their chapters:

The Title Page — the first and oldest leaf.
Concerning the Wandering Fire — chapter: The Wandering Fire.
On the Binding Power of Terms of Service — chapter: The Binding Power of Terms of Service.
Considering the Shoggoth — chapter: The Shoggoth.
Concerning the Endless Descent — chapter: The Endless Descent, first leaf.
A Minor Working to Arrest the Endless Descent — chapter: The Endless Descent, second leaf.
Of Yog-Sothoth, Who Is the Gate (And Also the Tabs) — chapter: Yog-Sothoth, Who Is the Gate.
The Unbidden Paw — chapter: The Unbidden Paw.
Concerning Abaddon — chapter: Abaddon, Angel of the Bottomless Pit.
To Summon the Great Moloch — chapter: The Great Moloch.
To Summon Beelzebuth, Lord of the Flies — chapter: Beelzebuth, Lord of the Flies.
To Summon the Great Pazuzu — chapter: The Great Pazuzu.
On the Sudden Arrival of Pan — chapter: The Sudden Arrival of Pan.
To Invoke the Silver-Tongued Loki — chapter: The Silver-Tongued Loki.
Concerning the Dreaming of Great Cthulhu — chapter: The Dreaming of Great Cthulhu.
Concerning the Rising of Tiamat, Mother of Chaos — chapter: The Rising of Tiamat, Mother of Chaos.
On the Dedication of a Household Shrine to the Penates — chapter: The Household Shrine to the Penates.
A Rite of Sacred Hospitality from Which There Is No Early Release — chapter: Sacred Hospitality.
A Spell for the Thread That Will Not End — chapter: The Thread That Will Not End; the newest leaf.